On 10th of December 2005, something happened
to me. Something fell like the water fall from a height. It could not come
back, and it created a gash, though water is harmless. I took that incident,
and turned it into my greatest pain. And the great pain gave way to a greater
fear. A fear that never left me.
Until that fateful night.
On 17th of
October 2014, I was asked to go to Varkala, for fun, with my office mates. The
fear that had been hooded in me for a decade took hold of me. I first rejected,
then opposed, and finally I was submitted. Even in the last minute, due to
picnic, I tried to back out. They didn’t let me do that.
What great deed from friends you have not known for long!
And I went with them. It was the best decision I ever chose (though not
made by me).
After a four hour long drive, we reached Varkala, and stayed at Deshadan
Resorts. And I had drinks. I even had a glass of bare rum without water, and I
did not regret it. It is indeed quite a revelation to know that rum doesn’t
give you any hangover headaches (but it does give you red eyes and a burning
heart for 15 whole minutes!)
But yes, I did wake up at 12 noon next day. And I wanted to experience
more. So I did the first thing I had to do to keep myself away from my routine.
I removed my glasses, and didn’t wear them the entire day. Next, I switched my
phone off. And I accompanied my friend to the beach.
Have you ever been to Varkala Beach? It is not actually a beach. It is a
cliff followed by the beach, and immediately followed by the infinite Arabian
Sea. We had to walk through some twisted roads, before we reached the cliff,
where I looked down at the beach, and ahead at the infinite world. For a
minute, I thought I was standing on a mountain at the edge of the world.
My
friend guided me to the beach. The softness of the sand. The coolness of the
water. The moody clouds. With the waves hitting my legs, I wasn’t even bothered
about me getting wet. Soon the waves hit me, and the rain poured onto me. I was
wet like a turkey in Christmas. But I wasn’t done yet. I went to the sea, and
the sea embraced me. I felt free.
Back
in the hotel I found myself swimming in the pool. I didn't join the games,
because it isn't easy to play with your jeans on! But later we had a nice
brunch (yeah...at 3 p.m.!), and later we walked to the beach again. This time
the entire team enjoyed the sunset and the sea breeze.
We
all have problems, many things to worry about. But standing there, at the edge
of the world, I realized something. This earth is so big. The solar system is
so much bigger. Then there's the galaxy, the universe, and many more things I
do not know. Maybe we are living in a globe in some kid's room as we speak!
But
the truth is...I was designed by someone. Call me a loser. Call me a dropout.
Call me a lousy writer, or a day dreamer. But in this last world, I, the tiny
speck, was designed to e a writer, filled with dreams and ambitions. And if I
was designed perfectly in this big vast world, it only means one thing.
Someone
up there expects me to keep going, no matter what happens!
It
is true that I will still be cribbing and complaining. And I know that nature
will reciprocate my moods. And I know this.... I will keep going. Falls and
rises are meant for those who move ahead. And I shall move on...
That
day...for the first time in my life, I felt free with nature....
Image Courtesy: Jishnu Vediyoor
