A walk to Freedom

On 10^th of December 2005, something happened to me. Something fell like the water fall from a height. It could not come back, and it created a gash, though water is harmless. I took that incident, and turned it into my greatest pain. And the great pain gave way to a greater fear. A fear that never left me.

Until that fateful night.

On 17^th of October 2014, I was asked to go to Varkala, for fun, with my office mates. The fear that had been hooded in me for a decade took hold of me. I first rejected, then opposed, and finally I was submitted. Even in the last minute, due to picnic, I tried to back out. They didn’t let me do that.

What great deed from friends you have not known for long!

And I went with them. It was the best decision I ever chose (though not made by me).

After a four hour long drive, we reached Varkala, and stayed at Deshadan Resorts. And I had drinks. I even had a glass of bare rum without water, and I did not regret it. It is indeed quite a revelation to know that rum doesn’t give you any hangover headaches (but it does give you red eyes and a burning heart for 15 whole minutes!)

But yes, I did wake up at 12 noon next day. And I wanted to experience more. So I did the first thing I had to do to keep myself away from my routine. I removed my glasses, and didn’t wear them the entire day. Next, I switched my phone off. And I accompanied my friend to the beach.

Have you ever been to Varkala Beach? It is not actually a beach. It is a cliff followed by the beach, and immediately followed by the infinite Arabian Sea. We had to walk through some twisted roads, before we reached the cliff, where I looked down at the beach, and ahead at the infinite world. For a minute, I thought I was standing on a mountain at the edge of the world.

My friend guided me to the beach. The softness of the sand. The coolness of the water. The moody clouds. With the waves hitting my legs, I wasn’t even bothered about me getting wet. Soon the waves hit me, and the rain poured onto me. I was wet like a turkey in Christmas. But I wasn’t done yet. I went to the sea, and the sea embraced me. I felt free.

Back in the hotel I found myself swimming in the pool. I didn't join the games, because it isn't easy to play with your jeans on! But later we had a nice brunch (yeah...at 3 p.m.!), and later we walked to the beach again. This time the entire team enjoyed the sunset and the sea breeze.

We all have problems, many things to worry about. But standing there, at the edge of the world, I realized something. This earth is so big. The solar system is so much bigger. Then there's the galaxy, the universe, and many more things I do not know. Maybe we are living in a globe in some kid's room as we speak!

But the truth is...I was designed by someone. Call me a loser. Call me a dropout. Call me a lousy writer, or a day dreamer. But in this last world, I, the tiny speck, was designed to e a writer, filled with dreams and ambitions. And if I was designed perfectly in this big vast world, it only means one thing.

Someone up there expects me to keep going, no matter what happens!

It is true that I will still be cribbing and complaining. And I know that nature will reciprocate my moods. And I know this.... I will keep going. Falls and rises are meant for those who move ahead. And I shall move on...

That day...for the first time in my life, I felt free with nature....

Image Courtesy: Jishnu Vediyoor

Deshi Basara...

It was never easy being me, and yet here I am, living as me, for I am perfect as no one else but me, me, fucking me!

I had gone to watch a movie with grandma, and the movie was about a woman who rises against all odds to become a respectable person. While she didn’t enjoy the movie much, I was watching the movie the second time, so you can imagine how much engrossed I was.

There I was, sitting while the credits rolled, showing the director’s name, when grandma asks, “So she actually does that all by herself? She didn’t have her husband supporting her, not even her daughter!”

“But she had that one friend who believed in her.”

“Yes, everyone needs one.”

Yes. Everyone needs that one person they can rely on. It can be a friend, a mate, a family member, a parent, a sibling, anyone. But there’s always a boosting factor that everyone needs at certain points of their lives. The so called cause of success, while reason being inspiration and motivation.

But the next question pulled me down suddenly. “So when are you going to set your next short film?”

Quite frankly, I didn’t have any answer for that, for I was literally falling off the hooks. I was failing to get producers and investors, and I had set a team to whom I had been telling about postponing the dates for the past three months. And they were still hoping for the project to be green-lit from my side soon. And I was about to take the hardest decision of my life… to stop making short films!

I had my reasons. To start with, the first short film had made me broke, and I had just finished repaying the amounts my kind friends had lend me for the shoot. But now everyone had their hands tied due to their own commitments. And as I said earlier, I was finding it hard to get investors or producers.

But the worst of all were the people around me who gave the promise of presence, but would be absent at the time of need. I tried setting the storyboard, would fix everything, and they call me two hours after the designated meeting time and tell me that they forgot, or they were busy, or they didn’t have time. I found myself alone, and unfortunately, for making a short film you had to have a team.

I was failing at every point, and the first short film was not raising up to the mark in the case of views; the worst being the fact that not many people were interested in watching it, for it seemed like a normal horror story with good technical works (thanks to everyone who worked with me, for doing your parts perfectly). But not a project with screenplay brilliance or good direction (I got my reasons!)

To top it all, my parents dropped a big liability on me, for it is expected for the son to fulfil his duty. So now, I am forced to give away whatever I earned to the loan that they made for and by themselves, and somehow it was all for me.

Anyhow, I was at the verge of making a decision, when the question popped, and while riding back home I was coming up with an answer. And it was obvious. I was tired of running alone, so now I am gonna take a break. And why bother? It is not like anyone would give a shit! It is just one man quitting! It wouldn’t make a difference!

I reached Irinjalakuda, and here I saw a teacher from my school, who smiled and came to me and asked of my works. I didn’t know what to say, for she was one of the very few people who discovered the artist in me. As I told her that I have lost the game, she told me about her daughter. Nothing much, except that she had joined an institution in Kochi, but the next words changed my thoughts. “She was telling about her art classes. Same old plain ideas. When she called me last time, she told me that if she had worked with Sachin, she would have come across better ideas in just four days.”

The words just blew me off, as she continued, “Sachin! You may be thinking of yourself as a loser. The way I find it, you hate yourself. But there are many around who thinks otherwise.”

People only tend to see the negative when they want sorrow and pain. Pain then becomes a drug, and a day with happiness just seems misplaced. I knew what I was going through; I knew the tight spot I was thrown into. But to hell with, while they wanted me to do what they want, I was supposed to do what I want!

Two weeks back I came across a college mate, who introduced me as “My mate who dropped out of college to follow his dreams.” To everyone else, I was a stupid dropout. To him, I was a dreamer.

When you think of it, there were many who believed in me, and they still do. But more than that, there was me, the one person, the one soul that I was to not disappoint. Because that soul belongs to a fucking artist.

So here I am stating it officially. I am taking a break from short films. No, not a permanent one, just a small break until I can gather the budget. And until then, I will be working on other projects, which for the time being will just need me.

Why am I not gonna stop?

Because I am a fucking artist!

DESHI BASARA 

P.S. Thank you Ammumma and Anitha Miss for being my points of inspiration and support. And thank you Krishnadev and Manoj for still calling me a friend.

P.P.S. Thank you Ammu, Nits and Justin, and Sajin and Varun, and of course, Venma and Nivi for believing in me.

And most of all, thank you to the entire crew of Gouri… I promise this won’t be the last project. There’s still more to come…

Present updates

Hey everyone!

I know that I have been quite lazy when it came about my writings, but well, even I haven't gotten the mood to right in the past couple of weeks. The hectic schedule I am presently following literally ties my hands and keeps me mum everytime I try to pen down or write something. But the spirit has been challenged, so I asked the Pheonix to come back, and it did. So here I am, back into my usual stuff.

Presently I am working on three short film screenplays: SHE and HE, A SILENT LOVE STORY, കൊച്ചൻ കണ്ട കൊച്ചി! Yep, the third title is a bit bizarre, but since it is based on a funny true story, I am keeping a good hope over it. I am expected to finish all three by the end of this week.

Now that my first short film Gouri has crossed ten thousand views, Aircastle Productions has started upon the pre-production works for Mors Voluntaria and She and He. But the location troubles is giving me quite a headache, and thus they are being further delayed. But I haven't forgotten my promise, and I will be having 5 short films under the banner of Aircastle Productions by the end of 2014.

Meanwhile, I am also working on some short stories, namely THE DAY I LIED, SALALUDHIN, ANUSHA AND MOKSHA and LOVE IN AIR. As you can see, that is a longer list, so it will take a longer time.

However, the main thing has not been told yet. I am currently working on Criminal Part 1, my second feature film screenplay. While doing so, I am putting a little bit of effort over Kattady and Gouri (the feature film version).

Being tied up doing what you like to do is perhaps the most joyous thing in the world. To be frank, despite all the headaches and runs, despite all these work and late night sleeps, I am actually enjoying the life I am having, than the one I was asked to have by many others.

A milestone in my life

Good day everyone! Yes, it is me after a long time, and I am here for a reason. I am here to share the joy of the release of my first ever directorial venture, titled GAURI. After months of anticipation and hard work, the film has been released, and is available for you to watch now.

THE JOURNEY

It wasn't an easy journey, for the run for this short film started during the month of January, in the year 2013. Yes, it has been more than a year since I penned down this screenplay and looked for a potential director and producer who would do this project for me. But no one was confident in my work or appreciated my efforts, so by around June, I had to put my foot down and decided to direct and produce the film myself.

Up until then I never thought money was an important factor, but when I donned a new role, I had to adapt to it and gather money for the production of this project. And right then my friend helped me with the amount. And my boss in SMT helped me with the requirements. It is in these moments when you know who your true friends are and who just claim to stand by your side.

The casting calls, the auditions, the new friends, the shoot....it all went in a jiff, and we thought the project would be out by November. And this is when I saw the darker side of movie making, where you cannot even trust your own team. Due to one of the team member, the post-production of this project got shelved every other day, till I got him replaced by someone else.

But I still had friends who believed in me, and a team who believed in this project. This got my to not stop at any juncture, and hence, after the whole turmoil, my first short film got released on May 16th, 2014.

At this moment, I would like to thank the many who helped me throughout the project. Naming them would be quite difficult, because the list is quite long. But I know that when they read it, they will know who I speak of at each moment. Thank you, thank you very much for standing by my side.

THE CREW

Special Mentions:

Naturals Ice Cream, MG Road, Ernakulam

Saltmangotree CMC Pvt Ltd

Creatif - Team of Innovation

SN Movie House

Thomas Padamadan

Sajin Sathyan

Arun J Prasad

Story, Screenplay, Direction, Production: Sachin Suresh

Cinematography: Abilash Shankar

Music: Ajith, Dileep

Color Grading, Editing: Harikrishnan B S, Aneesh Ravi

Sound Design and Mix: Bright Studios, Challikavattom

Production Manager: Sachin Suresh

Finance Controller/Production Controller/Transportation: Karthik Murali

Make Up/Costumes: Deepthi N, Sachin Suresh

Publicists: MVM, INM, SN Movie House, Creatif

Assistant Directors: Nichu, Kiron C Mathew

Stills: Abilash Shankar

Design: Aneesh Ravi

Light Unit: Arun J Prasad

Posters: Aneesh Ravi, Jaison Sebastian

Titling: Prem Krishna Akkattoos

Cast: 

Niveditha Vinod

Pranav Raj (Voiced by Vishnu Madhusoodanan Elayidom)

Joanna Subin

Sachin Suresh

Kiron C Mathew

Deepthi N

The video link will be shared with you all soon...

The Choice of Happiness

Hey everyone!

I know it has been quite some time since I have reached up to you, and that's why I am back here, and with some wonderful news. To start with, my first short film GAURI will be out this April, and the works are being completed in a good pace. Meanwhile the pre-production works for MORS VOLUNTARIA and SHE AND HE are on full swing.

Considering the similarities between the conversational dramas I am presently setting up, I have decided to call the series THE MAN AND THE WOMAN SERIES. This will deal with two people of opposite sexes discussing on various topics. Now that the first two screenplays are set, I am also done with my third screenplay in the series, THE CHOICE OF HAPPINESS. And here is an excerpt from the same.

What can people do when the system is screwed? They ask you to be honest and obey the system that has been built to ensure you a better life, to reap the best of the fruits, when the tree no longer bears fruits for they get plucked before they get flowered. They ask us to listen and obey to the elders, because they have lived long, and hence they are wise. But we are also living in a society where older men rape young women in the name of social justice. Where is the wise thought in that?

They ask us to be nice to all. They always quote ‘if they hit you on one cheek, show the other’, and when you do, you get slapped both ways. They ask us to live as a good person, study well, get good marks, better marks than the neighbors’ kids, get a good job, marry a good person, have some good kids, and in India, that good person is mostly a stranger, then have a good retirement, have a good after job life and then a good death without sins to get a place in a world we still do not have any proof of. And then they say ‘you are free’! Where’s the logic in that?

Are someone’s grades or paper of appreciation good enough to rank an individual? Is bending over to be the nice guy to all the best option to be living in? We live in a world where pioneers like Tesla are ignored, while business men like Edison are praised. We live in a world where when Steve Jobs died we mourned, but when Dennis Ritchie died, we didn’t even realize the contributions that man made to make our lives better. We remember not the ones who leave a mark, but the ones whose marks have been left open by the so called superior people.

Here, we have god men. Here we have businessmen. Here we have people who work less and earn more, and people who work more and earn less. Here we have a system that puts a pipe in our head and drinks everything out, and then takes the credit for themselves. And what do we get in return? Freedom is what they term it. I do not what that is!

I am not asking for freedom. I am not asking for you to seek the same either. But isn’t there a better way? Most of the time we get disappointed because we do not get what we want from those who ‘may’ have promised something, or from where we deserve to get something. But I would rather say that life is better lived when we expect nothing and make everything out of what we have.

If there is something you want to do, do it. If there’s something you want to eat, eat it. Being fat, dark, short, these aren’t problems; it may be for the system, but not for you, and not for the ones who love. According to my understanding they who care for you wouldn’t bother, and they who are bothered do not care for you.

Philosophy is not about escaping questions. It is about questioning the questions and answering the answers till we get the utmost satisfaction. You may not be great thinkers, or great students, you may be an alcoholic, drunkard or even a stripper. But if you are living your life the way you want, you eventually make the world a better place to live. The system, or your family, or people…they cannot say what will make you happy. But if can make yourself happy, then everyone becomes happy because at that precise moment, the universe will reflect your happiness.

Because trust me when I say this, Tesla and Dennis lived a really happy life doing what they wanted to do, the way they wanted to do, criticizing, improvising and correcting no one else but themselves.