A moment of change

They say change is a must, for the earlier change you get along with is now a comfort zone, and it is necessary to get away from it. And here I am, cornering a new change. Tomorrow is my last day in the office, of which I have been a part of for the past 2 years. I joined this office on a November 1st, 2011, and 2 years later, I am leaving, on 30th of November 2013.

These two years have given me a lot. To start with, I joined here as a content writer, and started working as a social media manager, and before I knew it, I became a digital brand manager, digital and social media manager and client servicing guy. In times, I went through many road by simply sitting on the corner chair at the end of the table. Yeah, in two years, no matter how the positioning of the table changed, I always reserved my part at the corner.

It had been a hilarious time period for me in here. For one, not a single person has read any of my works, and yet they found enough time to criticize it, which gave me a clear insight on how the critics work. In here I learned to be independent. In here I learned to be friendly. In here I threw away the face of a formal tidy old boy and became a dirty young man.

In the two years I got along with many people, who I would like to mention here. To start with is the first person I knew here, Hiran, who personally is also a mentor to me in my movie dreams. His teasing way of guiding way has always been a help for me. Then there was Arun, Andrine, and Sunil,. the board members who have been helpful to me in one way or the other.

Then came my first team, which included Ashwin, Desmond, Manoj, Chethan, Jishnu and Rubin, and later on additions, which included Devi, Jasna and Ajmal. Then came along many others, like Anitha, Prem, Subin, Athif, Akhil, Yasar, Kaushik, Gayathri, Mokshatha, George, Sreenadh, Orion, Saji, Ritty, Vinu, Abhilash, Gokul, Sreehari and many more who I can not remember now.

And of course the interns, notably Manoj Mathew Varghese, Hitha Gujjar, Anjali Egbok and Sruthy Herle, who have been a strong hold for me even in their short period here with me. There were many others too, who I shall mention in a later on time, many who mocked me and many who stood by my side.

They say marks matter in a school, degrees matter in a college, and experience matters in an office space. But in all three spaces, I have found that it is the moment to cherish that matters the most, and not something that you can brag about for a short while. It is what you are capable of doing and what you do, professionally and personally, that matters the most. In here I have made many friends and gained lot knowledge, which will always be a worthwhile moment for me.

But time is now for me to say adieu, for I have to leave, seek a bigger dream, and not look back, except to cherish these moments. I wish good luck to Links Saltmangotree in its future ventures.

Cornering a joyous moment

It's been quite some time since I have typed anything in my blog, and the best thing about the lot is that it was not because I was lazy. I had been very busy with the pre-production works of my short film, which is nearing to an end. By the end of August, the shooting will begin, and I will be marking my name officially as a director.

The journey was not easy, for I had been trying real hard to get The Child a live project for the past 7 months. But to people who I told the story, it seemed an unreal project. In the words of one particular person, "My stories sound senseless and is not appealing to the general public. People want reality." In my opinion, if people want reality, they should stand outside their house and watch the people. That would provide reality. And if it is entertainment that they want, well, that;s a different scenario.

A very helpful mentor and a close friend of mine has once told me that my works were different for one simple reason, that I write them not to impress others. It always came out of genuine passion. The problem arises once I complete the works, for then I try to get people to read and like the,m. He insisted that I stop doing that, and simply write more. They who wants to read will read, and those who won't, just won't. Ultimately, and this is the most important thing he told me, it has to be a project that I enjoy. If my project fails to satisfy me, it will not be a project of anyone's liking.

There are many movies that come around, where many elements are added to to the liking of people, say it be new generation, adult contents, tragedy, amazing cinematography or so. He asked me to stand aside, and take examples of legends like Satyajit Ray, Charlie Chaplin, Stanley Kubrik, and my idols (namely Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino), who worked mainly to satisfy themselves. Once you get to satisfy your world (which is you), you get to satisfy the world.

Frankly, I had been depressed for no one seemed to understand me for quite sometime. But later on, when I realized that no one would actually work with me on this project, I took a firm step (this happened a month back, thanks to a very dear friend of mine). I finished the screenplay, talked to a friend and asked him to hold the camera for my project. And he obliged.

And I just moved on, setting out casting calls and trying to make a team, and everything was falling in the rightful places. It was like the universe was waiting for me to start acting. I started a new production house, thanks to a very dear friend and mentor in my office, who helped me coin up the name Smok'd Up Movies. Under this banner, my first short film will be coming out, and soon more will come.

At this stage, I am really glad that things are working out nicely. And I am grateful to all those who stood by my side, namely Nithya and Varun, Amrutha, Justin, Hiranbhai, Kumpa and Anjali. Thank you. Thank you all.

Now I am cornering that joyous moment of my life.

The dare to do the new

We all have that one moment when we stand under the umbrella and look at the rain, wondering how good will it feel to simply step into it. We may most probably be under a roof, or under the umbrella, under its safety, that we simply look at the rain at sigh. Because when you want to do something different, lot questions arise. How difficult is it going to be? Where will I reach? Will I get what I want? Where is this leading to? What will others think? What will I do?

We are so immersed in the questions that we fail to take a step ahead. We prefer staying under the safety of the umbrella. But you have to realize that you are not meant to stay dry for the rest of your life. At that point all you have to do is throw away the cover you are holding, and simply walk into the rain.

At first it is going to feel good. But then you are not meant to stay there. To enjoy the rain you have to walk in it. It is not going to be easy. The rain will get harder. The wind will start pushing you backwards. The raindrops will be like bullets on your skin. People will look at you, laugh at you, call you a fool. They will laugh when you get pulled down, when you lose your step. They will say "I told you so" and stay under their covers. They will call you insane. But to enjoy the rain you have to walk ahead.

When the rain grows harder, you will find yourself in the flood. The flood with strong current and flow. But you have to move forward. It is going to be extremely difficult, but the more you push, the more you will enjoy it, because there is no more fun that doing what you like doing.

And when you struggle hard doing what you like to do, even nature will help you out. And finally you will reach the shore, from where you can look back at the people on the other side, the ones who laughed at you, staring at you and exclaiming, "He did it!" And you can laugh then, because when they could do it, you just did it!

But that is not all, for you have just crossed a lake. And now you are standing still. Ahead of you is a river, ahead of which is a sea, further is an ocean, further a planet, the solar system, the galaxy, the whole universe for you to cross. But it doesn't matter. Because you are not going to stop.

It is going to be more difficult. It is going to be tougher. But it is going to be fine. Because the universe wants you to do it. He who dares to do the new is the one who shall make a change. So all you have to do is run and jump, because my friend, there will come a time when you will look back at all the hurdles you have crossed, and you will say to your grandchild, "I had an umbrella once! I threw it away, and it made all the difference."

For it is better to be insane in an imperfectly sane world.

Thank you Robert Frost, William Ernest Henley, Paulo Coelho and Mother Nature for making me realize this.

The Wait - An old song of mine

I was just going through some of my old mails when I came across this poem that I had written for someone who meant a lot to me. Well, presently, now that I am blissfully with the presence of a very interesting person in my life, whose role in my life  is still not certain, let me dedicate this old song of mine to all lovers out there, who wait for a response from their loved ones. (I have edited it, because the original was really crappy!)

The wait

And there in the night

Moonless as I see

I waited for that I felt in thee

And I walk alone

Alone, along the beach

Wishing for your hand to hold mine

Love me you did never say

And I waited for your words

Waited for you to say

Blind, are you, to not see

Or is it another act

For you to hide what you feel from me?

The night, still moonless

You were hidden with the moon

Hearing my heart beat for you

On the sand that I sit

The breeze over me, your love wandering

I waited for you

You never came

Never told me what you felt

Not the ones from your heart

You never told

What your heart whispered to you

What is it that I’m to you

And over the dark sky so starless

I see you dance, I see you smile

And I waited for your descend

I waited and I waited

Under the moonless sky, along the shore

And I will wait, for lives to come

Along the roads of history

I had been planning to go out for months, ever since a dear friend from my office had asked me to go alone to a place I had never visited before. And when I rode my friend's bike to the Cochin Boat Jetty to take a boat to Mattancherry, I had two intentions in my mind. One was to fulfill my promise to her and myself as a writer, by visiting a place I knew less of, and secondly, to find a location for the short-film I am trying to make.

Frankly, Sundays aren't good for a boat ride, especially if it is mid-June and a lot wet. Only the regular travelers, and some occasional couples who would sit in the back-end of the boat, would be there. And I was one among them, looking forward for a nice walk despite the rain.

The people in the boat were silent. The couples were trying to make-out. I was reading midnight's children. Not the kind of fun ride I expected, but when you choose to go alone to an unknown place, this is all that you should expect.

I reached Mattancherry Boat Jetty in just 15-20 minutes, and from there I started walking. The famous Mattancherry Palace (aka the Dutch Palace) was the closest, so I walked to that ancient place. (Now I am not a photographer, or they wouldn't let us take pics. But since I am not a historian or a traveler, I am just adding the pics from Google, while I narrate about my day)

Image Courtesy: keralatourism.org

What was most captivating about the palace, apart from the historical data that they have put in all the rooms and the amazing displays of our ancestors who ruled us, was the mural paintings that was there in different rooms. What made me sad was that they have started to fade, thanks to the 'proper' way of taking care of priceless art. But nevertheless, it was beautiful. Inside the palace, one could feel the depth of the people who once stayed there. Now it is museum. Once people lived there, ruled us from there. Of all the museums I have gone to, I believe this could make me feel something deep. Maybe perhaps the souls of the ages were still wandering, watching me as I astonishingly looked at their portraits and photos.

From there I walked to the Jewish Synagogue, and to reach there, I took the long and amazing route of the infamous Jewish Street, the street that sells numerous artifacts, goods, handicrafts, and more. There were many spices shop that sold genuine and amazing spices too. Coffee shops with aromatic coffee that one could smell even from outside. Man, that road alone is a perfect place for all the senses of mankind.

Image Courtesy: smspostcard2.blogspot.com

The Jewish Synagogue is truly one of its kinds. I first met a lady, who was truly frustrated with people with cameras, and I was guided first to a room that the history of the Jewish Synagogue. Later, I was guided to the inside of the Synagogue, which was small and yet breathtaking. Inside I didn't feel God, but peace was a certain emotion that I experienced (peace is not an emotion, but I felt it there, so let me call it an emotion now).

Image Courtesy: wikimedia.org

From there I walked ahead to the Jewish Cemetery, and I couldn't go in, because the gatekeeper had gone home. So I walked back, and reached the Crafters, a cafe at the junction that diverts to the synagogue and Police museum. I had a Chicken Cutlet and Coffee from there, having which I realized that I have just found a location for ANOTHER story of mine.

I walked back to see many arts shop, where they sold paintings of artists. People would just go in and look and leave, while I saw the efforts the artists took in those breathtaking paintings. They even had a painting that looked as if it was not a painting, but a photo. I wish if I could buy one particular painting from there, which showed lust at its peak.

I took the boat back to Marine Drive, and I was feeling happy. I met many people, Jews, Artists, shop keepers. I feel in love with the street. One day I will go back there, but I will make sure that it is not just  a mere visit, but I will be taking a full-scale movie there, just to capture the beauty of the roads of history, where people doesn't fight, and all you can feel is peace and harmony.

The Phoenix Within

Hey everyone!

Quite long, huh? Well, one of my stories got published in the April edition of Tinkle Magazine. I have got them here. Feel free to read and give me your opinion.

Condolences to a great person I knew

A few days back a person I knew passed away. She was a very charming person, who always kept a smile and made sure that we were on the right track. She was my teacher, a great person and loving friend.

I heard about her death last Sunday. I could say that I was shocked, but I wasn't. I couldn't find any meaning in her death. Her life was a great one, but it was just another lost life.

But in the past few days I have been seeing my college-mates and batch-mates posting pictures and condolences for her. In one of the posts, I read that she was pursuing her PHD, and was about to fulfill her dream of achieving it. Well, she didn't, so what has she done then? Hadn't she lost?

That's when I realized that she had won many things in her life. She had won a loving husband. She had won a great deal of students who will remember her forever. She had won a great deal of friends who would always go to see her, and will continue to see her every year (a promise a group of friends of hers made tat I came to hear about.)

You only get to live once, so it is important to live it completely and happily Life is not about achievements. Life is not about the many accolades, awards or successful activities you can win. Life is about what you have done for yourself and for the ones around you. Life is all about the love you receive and you give.

She has won a great life, by loving and by being loved. She has won a great life, doing what she wants to do. She has won a great life, which will make her be remembered among the ones she love, make them smile every time they think about her, just like how she is making me smile now.

Thank You, Ashitha Miss, for living a great life, enjoying it, and making me realize the worth of life.