The fight worth fighting for

 We fight for many things. We fight for a better tomorrow. We fight for better materials. We fight for various causes. We fight for many reasons. We fight for love. We fight for hatred. We fight for family. We fight for friends. We find reasons to fight a fight, and we struggle hard to win the fight.

We fight to ensure that we do not lose the love of our life. We fight to ensure that the one we loved once will never come back to us. We fight for the welfare of the company we work. We fight to betray the team we work with. We fight to buy the new iPhone that came out last week. We fight for the retro car that is the earliest model of Ford.

We fight for a dream that we have been nurturing since the beginning of ourselves. We fight for a dream that we just conceived a moment ago. We fight for the friend we had known for more than a decade. We fight for the child who was born just a second ago. We fight for a religion. We fight against a religion. We fight for a cause. We fight against a cause.

We fight for reasons we never understand. We fight because we feel that is what we must do. We fight because we know that we are fighters, born to fight for what we desire. Nothing comes free. Everything has a price. To win what you desire, you have to fight.

But what is it that you desire? What is it that you want? What is it you gain? More importantly, what is the fight worth fighting for?

I believe that it is the memory of the fight that is worth fighting for.

You may lose, or you may win. You may gain or you face pain. You may love or you may hate. You may be praised or you may be teased. It doesn’t matter, for words will fade, people will go away, but the memories and the emotions close to them stay.

If you remember something that makes you cry, you have fought a fight worth fighting for. If you remember something that makes you smile, you have fought a fight worth fighting for. If you remember something that elevates your heart beat, you have fought a fight worth fighting for. If you see something on the wall that you gained after so much effort, you have fought a fight worth fighting for. If you think of the thing you lost and worry about it, you have fought a fight worth fighting for. If you see the one you loved with someone else and feel mixed emotions, you have fought a fight worth fighting for.

In the end nothing will exist. In the end, only the memory of your journey remains. In the end, it is not what you gained or lost, who you gained or lost, where you went or why you did a thing wouldn’t matter, except the journey itself. It is the journey that we fight for today, for it is the memory to be remembered tomorrow.

So let me tell you what I believe. Close your eyes. Let a memory flow to you. Does it prick your heart? Does it raise your heart beat? Does a tear drop trickle down your cheek? Does a smile appear on your lips?

Is it a memory you own?

Then you fought a fight worth fighting for.

So keep fighting, for your fight today, is your memory tomorrow.

(Image Courtesy: The Truman Show)

Everyone deserves a hug

Man is a sensuous being. His eyes are made to see. His nose is made to smell. His ears are made to hear. His tongue is made to taste. And his skin, it is meant for the most amazing feat of them all, to feel.

Some great philosophers have stated many things about feelings, but the one we all know is a simple sentence: SKIN DESERVES TO BE TOUCHED. And it is true. Sometimes everyone desires to hold the hair of the loved ones, to feel the smoothness of the skin over the lips, to feel the hand over the hand….to be lost in the world of wordless emotions. To be able to feel without having to depend on other senses.

But time has flown. And technology has given way to other senses rather than to the skin.  They try to give more emphasis to the eyes, nose, ears or tongue, and give less importance to the skin. And when the skin is ignored, the other senses become dull, and people search for other sources of emancipating their senses. They find solace in drugs when they don’t find friends. They find solace in sex when they don’t find love. They find solace in what they shouldn’t for they find it not in what they have.

Parents have forgotten how much a kiss matters. Wives have forgotten how much a brush of lips matters. Husbands have forgotten how much closeness matters. Friends have forgotten the joys they get from each other. Lovers have forgotten anything beyond the bedroom. When the skin is devoid of feelings, man turns into a beast. He doesn’t turn into an animal, for an animal cares. He turns to a beastly machine that uses humans and adores materials.

Everyone deserves a hug. A hug can destroy voids. A hug can make love blossom. A hug can reassure friendship. A hug can create magic. A hug can lift pains and sorrows. A hug is a medicine, a cure, a drug everyone needs. A hug is a word from the universe, a way of it to say that we all belong to each other and we can ensure that further with a hug.

Man finds himself empty without compassion. He is lost, troubled, confused about himself. He needs an assurance, an assurance from his fellow mates who say “I’m here for you.” He needs the promise of togetherness. He needs love, care, console. He needs compassion. He needs a hug.

Everyone deserves a hug. The wife and husband should hug often. The lovers must hug often. The friends must hug more. The teacher should hug the student. The boss must hug the employee. One needs to hug and be hugged by another. It is an action of love and care, which requires no kiss, no words, no sex, no desire. A hug can evade the illness and evilness in people’s mind. A hug can create solutions to problems, answers to questions. A hug is a nod to love. A hug is the acceptance of one another. A hug is a step closer to the universe that binds you and me.

Everyone deserves a hug. You do. I do. We all do.

Everyone deserves a hug. Now. And later. And tomorrow. Every time and every day.

Who did you hug today?

Deshi Basara...

It was never easy being me, and yet here I am, living as me, for I am perfect as no one else but me, me, fucking me!

I had gone to watch a movie with grandma, and the movie was about a woman who rises against all odds to become a respectable person. While she didn’t enjoy the movie much, I was watching the movie the second time, so you can imagine how much engrossed I was.

There I was, sitting while the credits rolled, showing the director’s name, when grandma asks, “So she actually does that all by herself? She didn’t have her husband supporting her, not even her daughter!”

“But she had that one friend who believed in her.”

“Yes, everyone needs one.”

Yes. Everyone needs that one person they can rely on. It can be a friend, a mate, a family member, a parent, a sibling, anyone. But there’s always a boosting factor that everyone needs at certain points of their lives. The so called cause of success, while reason being inspiration and motivation.

But the next question pulled me down suddenly. “So when are you going to set your next short film?”

Quite frankly, I didn’t have any answer for that, for I was literally falling off the hooks. I was failing to get producers and investors, and I had set a team to whom I had been telling about postponing the dates for the past three months. And they were still hoping for the project to be green-lit from my side soon. And I was about to take the hardest decision of my life… to stop making short films!

I had my reasons. To start with, the first short film had made me broke, and I had just finished repaying the amounts my kind friends had lend me for the shoot. But now everyone had their hands tied due to their own commitments. And as I said earlier, I was finding it hard to get investors or producers.

But the worst of all were the people around me who gave the promise of presence, but would be absent at the time of need. I tried setting the storyboard, would fix everything, and they call me two hours after the designated meeting time and tell me that they forgot, or they were busy, or they didn’t have time. I found myself alone, and unfortunately, for making a short film you had to have a team.

I was failing at every point, and the first short film was not raising up to the mark in the case of views; the worst being the fact that not many people were interested in watching it, for it seemed like a normal horror story with good technical works (thanks to everyone who worked with me, for doing your parts perfectly). But not a project with screenplay brilliance or good direction (I got my reasons!)

To top it all, my parents dropped a big liability on me, for it is expected for the son to fulfil his duty. So now, I am forced to give away whatever I earned to the loan that they made for and by themselves, and somehow it was all for me.

Anyhow, I was at the verge of making a decision, when the question popped, and while riding back home I was coming up with an answer. And it was obvious. I was tired of running alone, so now I am gonna take a break. And why bother? It is not like anyone would give a shit! It is just one man quitting! It wouldn’t make a difference!

I reached Irinjalakuda, and here I saw a teacher from my school, who smiled and came to me and asked of my works. I didn’t know what to say, for she was one of the very few people who discovered the artist in me. As I told her that I have lost the game, she told me about her daughter. Nothing much, except that she had joined an institution in Kochi, but the next words changed my thoughts. “She was telling about her art classes. Same old plain ideas. When she called me last time, she told me that if she had worked with Sachin, she would have come across better ideas in just four days.”

The words just blew me off, as she continued, “Sachin! You may be thinking of yourself as a loser. The way I find it, you hate yourself. But there are many around who thinks otherwise.”

People only tend to see the negative when they want sorrow and pain. Pain then becomes a drug, and a day with happiness just seems misplaced. I knew what I was going through; I knew the tight spot I was thrown into. But to hell with, while they wanted me to do what they want, I was supposed to do what I want!

Two weeks back I came across a college mate, who introduced me as “My mate who dropped out of college to follow his dreams.” To everyone else, I was a stupid dropout. To him, I was a dreamer.

When you think of it, there were many who believed in me, and they still do. But more than that, there was me, the one person, the one soul that I was to not disappoint. Because that soul belongs to a fucking artist.

So here I am stating it officially. I am taking a break from short films. No, not a permanent one, just a small break until I can gather the budget. And until then, I will be working on other projects, which for the time being will just need me.

Why am I not gonna stop?

Because I am a fucking artist!

DESHI BASARA 

P.S. Thank you Ammumma and Anitha Miss for being my points of inspiration and support. And thank you Krishnadev and Manoj for still calling me a friend.

P.P.S. Thank you Ammu, Nits and Justin, and Sajin and Varun, and of course, Venma and Nivi for believing in me.

And most of all, thank you to the entire crew of Gouri… I promise this won’t be the last project. There’s still more to come…

Cornering a joyous moment

It's been quite some time since I have typed anything in my blog, and the best thing about the lot is that it was not because I was lazy. I had been very busy with the pre-production works of my short film, which is nearing to an end. By the end of August, the shooting will begin, and I will be marking my name officially as a director.

The journey was not easy, for I had been trying real hard to get The Child a live project for the past 7 months. But to people who I told the story, it seemed an unreal project. In the words of one particular person, "My stories sound senseless and is not appealing to the general public. People want reality." In my opinion, if people want reality, they should stand outside their house and watch the people. That would provide reality. And if it is entertainment that they want, well, that;s a different scenario.

A very helpful mentor and a close friend of mine has once told me that my works were different for one simple reason, that I write them not to impress others. It always came out of genuine passion. The problem arises once I complete the works, for then I try to get people to read and like the,m. He insisted that I stop doing that, and simply write more. They who wants to read will read, and those who won't, just won't. Ultimately, and this is the most important thing he told me, it has to be a project that I enjoy. If my project fails to satisfy me, it will not be a project of anyone's liking.

There are many movies that come around, where many elements are added to to the liking of people, say it be new generation, adult contents, tragedy, amazing cinematography or so. He asked me to stand aside, and take examples of legends like Satyajit Ray, Charlie Chaplin, Stanley Kubrik, and my idols (namely Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino), who worked mainly to satisfy themselves. Once you get to satisfy your world (which is you), you get to satisfy the world.

Frankly, I had been depressed for no one seemed to understand me for quite sometime. But later on, when I realized that no one would actually work with me on this project, I took a firm step (this happened a month back, thanks to a very dear friend of mine). I finished the screenplay, talked to a friend and asked him to hold the camera for my project. And he obliged.

And I just moved on, setting out casting calls and trying to make a team, and everything was falling in the rightful places. It was like the universe was waiting for me to start acting. I started a new production house, thanks to a very dear friend and mentor in my office, who helped me coin up the name Smok'd Up Movies. Under this banner, my first short film will be coming out, and soon more will come.

At this stage, I am really glad that things are working out nicely. And I am grateful to all those who stood by my side, namely Nithya and Varun, Amrutha, Justin, Hiranbhai, Kumpa and Anjali. Thank you. Thank you all.

Now I am cornering that joyous moment of my life.