Moving to the new year

So far this had been yet another bad year for me. I had been under the thought that I had friends over here, but then, many strange things struck me hard enough. First of all, I lost in my dramas. My D-Zone drama was a failure. Have to blame myself for being more a director and less an actor on stage. But my team mates too didn't take it seriously. For them it was just a game, while for me it was a life time opportunity. In other words, they failed me.
I lost in arts too. Got a second because of one man's callous behavior. I am still upset about it, because if I had got it right, things would have gone in a far better fashion.
I thought my department was with me when they supported me throughout arts. But when I went for D-Zone, I realized that the support was because at arts I was the only one representing them in English drama. Once it was done, they needed me no longer. At a moment when I need lot support, I got none at D-Zone. Happy to know that I have no friends over there. So, as I thought in the beginning of my engineering life, I have made no friends.
A person who I thought was a good friend betrayed me not just in my love life, but also in case of my other friends too. Many think I am the worst choice they could opt because of that one man. Glad to know that everyone has broken up with me not just because I am different, but because of the image he had made of me. The sad part is…I am fucking alone.
The present outcome is, I have decided to not to continue engineering. I will finish the course, but not go through the supples after college. I rather go through what I want, because, no one wants me to do so. I want to live my life.
Scared and worried about falling in love, because P@#$%^&* has been lot for me. She just didn't see it. Now I don't care. Love and I will never go together.
Friends...I rather leave them here. I may be victorious, or I may lose and die as such. They will praise or ditch me respectively. But none will be with me. So let they be here.
And why I say this here, for two reasons. One that I am stepping on to a new year, where I am desperate to make some friends, fall in love and make a new face of myself. I know that none will happen, but still, what if....
And secondly....because I am sure no body will be reading this. So far, that's what has been happening to my blog.

Just from my heart

I was learning everything about myself for the past two days, when I was alone in my room, thinking about the drama, which again has a chance to drop away. Did I mention my dance drama being pulled out by a mother-fucking man who always walks around with a tie? Sorry for my language, just can't help it.
Talking about me, I was going round about that one girl. She...the angel, the blossoming flower of the garden in my hearty. She thinks I am loser. A year ago, a friend of mine successfully made her believe it ever since I made one mistake. The gravest mistake was in trusting him.
Why am I saying this now? For one simple reason, that I have realized a cruel part about love. She hates me in all sense. And why...because she has failed to see me.
What is essential in a relationship? Mutual understanding. That was why I was craving for love. but it seems like....love is not the essential thing. When a person is your mate, he/she wants to point you to their friends and say, "Look at that person. He/She is cool in such a way."
People want to be with those who have proved their worth. Is their truth in such a relationship? I don't think so. Consider the way I think, I'll reach somewhere only after long time. If someone comes into my life now, it will be someone who can understand me deeply. After being successful, there is no point in having a person in your life, for deceit overcomes love at such states. Rarely love comes at such states.
Finding a mate before being someone is thus essential for me. But now, she sees not me but my faults. And foolish me...I can not fall for someone else I have fallen so much for her. It is not love as they say, it is foolishness. And I am still in that transient state where I just don’t know anything else apart from her. What is the use of such a state?
One day...she will know. It will be too late by then. And I will be alone forever, for till date, I've never fund anyone who could replace her, ever.
Nobody wants to be with a loser. And nobody wants to be with a lover. Everyone wants to be with a person who they can show out to the society and say, "This is my guy/gal."
No offense to the lovers outside. I am simply mad today. And I just want to say to you...you may be in love. I am only typing my feelings. And I am not drunk, but quite crazy....Silly me!!!

At a confused state

I am actually very much confused. First of all, my new semester has begun, and to be frank, me team mate is killing me, telling things I can never understand. But since it is his dream, and since he is in our team (well, we're actually in his team) I am obliged to be with him. What is in a dazed state are the below things.

First of all, the drama "India Before And After Independence" is at a far away state since the principal has no mind in helping the team. But at least this time many of the faculties are with us. The canvasing program over the first years (and if not adequate, second years too) will be done in a period of two weeks. Don't know where it is going to. Hope for the best though.

Second is about the drama we are proposing for D Zone. Apart from me, only one more has read the drama in our team. She liked it, and I have added one more scene. This version hasn't been read by any. And we have stat with the audition works too, but that too happens to be uncertain, again due to the major project and the Principal. Again hope for the best.

The main worry is that my thumbs are going numb over UGLY. I just am not getting the right words for it anymore,. maybe because of this course I am attending. I don't think I will be able to do it as I used to. But will have to work hard on it too. The same goes with THE THIEF.

Presently am reading Paulo Coelho's The Winner Stand Alone. Frankly....it is scaring me, showing the truth behind the show business. Anyways, it is very interesting too.

I want you guys to pray for me. I want to do things right this year.

P. S. I also want you guys to pray for me to get that one girl I really like. Only if you have time though. Major prayers for the above sessions are what I really need.

Have a nice month everyone.

Lady In Pink

Well....the good news is that I finished my new short story. It was a bit of hard work, and I am happy with it. It is a love story, and a good touch, I would say. Here is a small abstract from it.

He looked ahead of them to see the little squirrels play. He saw a little baby cry. He saw a little girl run between the legs of her parents. He saw a world in that park.
He looked down at his hands and waved it around. A tiny spark appeared, but it suddenly disappeared. That wasn’t enough. He had to apply more power to himself. But the energy was getting harder for him, so he simply stopped it there and looked ahead.
The little girl started running to the other side of the park. He watched her carefully, when a branch of tree suddenly fell over the girl, pushing her down to the ground with her blood all around.
A sudden reaction was all over Harvey, and he looked again, at the girl who had started to run to the other side of the park. And without his permission, his hands moved.
A little stone suddenly started to roll and stood on the way of the little girl. And she stepped on it at once. Next minute she tripped and fell forward, and the huge branch fell right behind her.
Her mother suddenly screamed and ran to the spot, to watch her daughter just after the branch, hurt only on the hand due to the fall.
Everyone else ran to the spot, trying to see the very lucky girl. The mother was holding her baby and crying with relief. And it was time for Harvey to go.

A quick note to say

Been long since I have been here, so let me give a few updates. I am now busy with my S6 examination, so stories will have to wait. To be frank, I had been quite slow on my writings for the past two months.

And yes, instead of Jewish Girl, I have decided to write another story named Ugly, because there is a lot more that I have to research before typing it down. Also am thinking about rewriting I am Kalki Part 1 Formation of Kalki. The decision have not been made yet.

Also specks for two new short stories are roaming around, which I will pen down soon enough. By the way, I have a drama for D Zone this year, English, and I am trying to play The Passion Of Valentine for the day. And the big dance drama is still way ahead, just a bit slow due to my examination and lesser participation. I can not reveal much about it, since it needs a lot of work. So...here I am perplexed at every step. Funny!!!

5 phases with her

This is a short story, which I felt was good indeed. I had the idea for about a month or two, but penned it down in one morning alone. And supposedly...it has turned out to be good. It is the story of a man and his five important phases with a girl, the love of his life. Here is a small part from it.

So after the ravaging one month, I was set. It was all me, I didn’t have much friends in there, so I had to make my move alone. And so…the date was also set, September 23rd.
Evening. She was standing with her friends. I watched her slowly. She was standing outside the college perimeter, talking to her friends while licking her orange flavored ice-stick. Oh lucky ice-stick!
I walked to her. With her back in front of me, I stood behind her, admiring her hair. She was the prettiest, even when we don’t see her face. Maybe I was the only one to think so.
What I had to say? Hi! My name is Jeff, Jeff Patterson. Do you want a chocolate? My mamma says that life is like a box of…Oh my! I wasn’t Forrest!
My name is Jeff Patterson. Fine student in Computers, 2nd year, son to a working father…I wasn’t Maximus either!
I was formulating and was about to talk, when she suddenly turned and I got a kiss from her melting ice-stick. In an instant, my white t-shirt turned yellow, or orange.
Now…whatever I was feeling for her, it was overcome by anger. That too suddenly. She was scared, and looked at me apologetically, and I suddenly screamed, “What the fucking hell were you thinking when you turned?”
That was a great start. She tried to speak, “I…I’m sorry…but...”
“Sorry! Will that help me clean my shirt? What the fuck were you thinking, you stinky bitch?” Now that was the limit.
She couldn’t bear it anymore. “One minute, Mr. Senior! You were the one sticking up your bloody dick behind me without me noticing it a bit at all. What do you have to say about that you…you…?”
That was the end of the conversation, for I couldn’t say a word to her anymore. And we quarreled all way long.
That was how I met her.

Hey dudes...I did it

At last, after all my hard work, I've successfully completed one of the most challenging stories of my life. And I'm quite satisfied at the result, I believe it is readable now. I shall have 'Aspects of Life' in pdf soon enough.

Mean while, I have fallen into the next sessions. This year,. I'll be typing two novels. One happens to be a love story (as how I felt it is). I call it Jewish girl. The second happens to be an action novel, more appropriate to be a graphic novel, but you see, I am not an artist. So...The Thief is an action novel.

Also two new short stories are coming ahead....5 phases with her and Love in air. I'll have them done soon, by May. Don't know what else is ahead now, short stories come just like a jiff, so...am not planned about them.